The Accidental Side-Chic

Drive: Sometimes we need to sh-air our struggles so that some of our friends, family members and third parties (aka other people) will know they haven’t cornered the market on problems. We need to let them know about our humanity and that they are not alone.

If you want to hide something from me, put it in a song. By leveraging on YouTube and Google though, I may find it, or at least, find the lyrics of the song. However, if you want to completely hide something from me, put it in a music video. The part of my brain that should help me ‘get’ and/or follow the tales of most music videos is probably not well-developed.

De Trigger: A couple of weeks ago, I watched the 1998 video “The Boy Is Mine” by Brandy and Monica and I actually (somewhat) understood it. At least I followed the story for the most part, and daresay I got the gist. It caught my attention because I had earlier come across a startling videoclip from a ‘religious faith fighter‘ caught on camera saying that if she ever found out that her man was cheating on her, she would pray against the woman till she became paralyzed.

On a side-note, “We-Men always get the bashing when they dare to cheat. From men, from other women, and from the society at large. When the Sheep cheats, the sheep is frowned upon, even though sheep usually get away with it. When the Shepherd cheats, “touch not my anointed”.

To each his own. I respect her hustle for her cheating, lying, greedy, unfaithful man.

Pardon the name-calling, lol. Brandy and Monica on the other hand, worked to-get-her to ‘shame’ the guy that was toying with their emotions, feelings, and bodies.This is all my perspective anyways. After all, it is the first music video that not only makes sense to me, but also that I totally get. I did not need anyone explaining the sin-by-scene de-Tales.

It is commonplace for people to judge the side chic. It would seem we-men always get the bashing. Many years ago, a woman was caught in adultery, and brought to the village square to be stoned. This woman was publicly shamed, but the man was neither called-out nor exposed. Yet, she was CAUGHT IN THE ACT of adultery. It’s always we-Men (pronounced women).

Disclaimer: This isn’t about the willful-side-chic though. By this, I mean ladies (single or married) with eye candy that go after the fiances and husbands of other women. They sure have their reasons but my post is not about them right now. Several other pieces have addressed their case. They exist and live amongst us and I will not dignify their existence with anything but a random mention.

My post is about the executive single lady, living her life and facing her grind, who suddenly begins to get attention from a keen man. Being human, not to mention the fact that she’s vulnerable, alone, and possibly lonely, she yields to his advances and begins to enjoy the attention and companionship.

Dear married woman, pause and think about all the good times spent with your man. Project those good times to this scenario and by extension, to this single lady. She has finally found someone to call her own, without prejudice. Her forever and a day. She is happy. Except of course, she’s a side chic, but she just doesn’t know that, yet.

Disclosure: Ladies and gentlemen, I hereby introduce to you, the accidental side chic. That woman, who, unknown to her, is dating a married man, innocently and totally oblivious of the fact that he’s a taken man. Yes, she should have done her background checks, after all, the eWorld is a global village and there are six degrees of separation (it takes only six people to connect to everyone else in the world).

I do not support extramarital affairs, but I think there is a proper way to handle emotional issues that pertain to men and women. I also know for a fact, that there are innocent women out (t)here suffering shame and abuse, simply because a man got away with improper behaviour.

The irony is that there have been instances where, a woman has settled into the routine of being wife and possibly, mother, and her marriage is now devoid of sparks. A fresh dude comes onto the scene at work, at church, at the gym, or possibly an old flame, and he reignites the fire. Married women also accidentally cheat. It is wrong to keep bashing side chics. Selah!

Dear woman, go and scene no more. Stop creating scenes. Like Brandy and Monica in the fictitious musical video, We-Men need to work to-get-her to make men accountable and stop bashing one another.

We-Men always get the bashing when they dare to cheat: bashing from men, from other women, and from the society at large. When the Sheep cheats, the sheep is frowned upon, even though sheep usually get away with it. When the Shepherd cheats, “touch not my anointed”.

Principles are universal truths, irrespective of office, role or gender. Let the truth be the truth. Now I’m just ranting. SELAH.

PS: If you have any “Men-are-Scum” or “Yoruba-Demon” tales, educate me… Thank you!

Categories: Relationships | 3 Comments

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3 thoughts on “The Accidental Side-Chic

  1. Pingback: Choose Your Battles | MoYounique

    • …in prayer, we say God’s words back to Him.
      Not sure what this copy and paste is… – repetition for emphasis? Thanks for the feedback, #DoBetter 😛


  2. Samira

    Lol at Yoruba Demon tales. I have come across my fair share of liars. To be fair, they often did not lie outrightly. They simply did not offer the truth. So I have learnt to ask but then again, I can’t be sure I won’t get lied to.

    It’s a cold world out here on the streets, my dear.


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