Breaking the Silence of the Past 18 Months

Contrary to general opinion WRT Mee ‘doing the write-thing’, I am a very private person. To drive this fact home, over the past year, I have made a feeble attempt at staying anonymous in order to hide my real persona, hence the lull in sh-air-ing heart-tickles (RE: the apparent MPD; ~ All-na-façade). Someday, our lives will be audited and everyone’s work will be put through the fire to see whether or not it keeps its value. Which is why I have decided to sh-air some of the mention-worthy events that occurred in the last 18 months:

• 1. I commenced a course in “Lagos Traffic Dynamics” and I have since earned the title “Danfo Driver”. {See for de-tales} Judging by the way we conduct ourselves on the road in Lagos, the main theme of this course is the fact that “nobody-wants-to-carry-last.” As a result of this enlightenment, my committee of concerned friends have decided, but are yet to reach the obvious conclusion, that the chic in Mee needs to come afore ASAP {will keep you posted}

• 2. A couple of us were robbed about a year ago (October 18, 2010 to be precise) by what/who I now refer to as Unemployed-Youth-Posing-As-Armed-Robbers. Rumor has it that we ran into a ditch and one of the tyres of the automobile was subsequently ripped apart. We pulled over to change the tyre and fix the damage. A short while later, I saw a car park ahead of us, and noticed three guys alight. For crying out loud, this was a supposedly crowded bus stop… so I assumed they wanted to board a bus or something. {assumptions are dangerous – they’re life’s lowest level of knowledge}

• Thanks to Social Psychology courses, I learnt about the levels of bystander empathy and bystander attention and their effects at determining how much help you get in a real crisis situation, if any. On this day, I experienced both first-hand. I was holding my phone in one hand and carrying my bag with the other one when the guys approached us. There were three of us and since there were three of them, they took us one-to-one. I will recount my ordeal only, since the “meeting” was far too brief to meddle in the affairs of my fellow-victims; forgive me, but… ‘to each his own’ ~ for each man will have to bear his own burdens

• Anyways, after the first guy realized I was going to hand neither my handbag nor phone to him, he beckoned at the second guy who had hitherto been with one of my friends. He approached me with what he made us believe was a gun and threatened me with it, claiming he would shoot. His attempts failed and fell on ‘deaf ears’ as I heard myself saying “I no see gun, so I no go drop anything” – after which a forced attempt to collect the phone ensued again. He cut me with a knife as I clenched my fist and held tight to both items and started to walk away {it was a supposedly crowded bus stop remember}

• However, it was not until after the guys drove off that people started approaching our car {they had parked nearby with a stand-by driver who had left the engine running}. A few dared to tell us they assumed the guys were our friends when we narrated our ordeal. A fewer number actually began chanting, “ole, ole, thief thief” {Please don’t ask me why I hadn’t shouted earlier, bear in mind that my pen is stronger than my voice – I can’t speak for either of my two friends though, my dear co-victims }.

• The greatest lesson iLearnt after both events is that err ~ err … ^-^ the summary is iNeed the chic in Mee to come out ASAP. Why would any girl decide to take a scar in a bid to save her phone and handbag? (misplaced priorities? boldness? folly?) ~ I was relieved they hadn’t stolen anything from me, but felt bad when I realized I was the only one who wasn’t a victim of the theft – well, apart from the scar I got. My friends lost two wallets and a handbag (contents inclusive) and three phones, between them. All I got was a scar (plus the aftermath). #shock

• 3. One night, we were making out in the car and no sooner had we begun (did I just ‘say’ “no sooner?” Well time flies, so I really don’t know how much time had elapsed… anyways, no sooner had we started than we began to hear siren blasts and shortly afterwards, a police car pulled over. I was so embarrassed *caught-in-the-act-in-my-hood* ~ *shame* hehehe. Three police officers jumped out of the car and with sheepish grins on their faces, informed us that lots of people are robbed and mobbed daily in the process of the inability to ‘delay gratification’ – what were we thinking “playing” by the road-side, in a car, anyway?!? iWonder {ok, I admit, we were not thinking}

• 4. I still need a lot of nerve to sh-air the sequel to “The Miracle of my Womb” which I’ve tagged “Sexpectations; Musings of the H-and-V Lips of the Female Anatomy” – sounds a lot like science… #boring!!! I’d get back to you on this as soon as I get a more appropriate title, without giving a-way de-tales (iPromise). As with most write-things of this sort, I will sh-air, not just to entertain but also to inform. And you (may) have to read between the lines for cl-air-rification – Ms. Understood

• 5. Ok Bye 🙂

Special thanks to all who have encouraged me to stay true to my core self against all the odds. I have come to realize, as my people would say,that iji kii ja, ko da omi inu agbon nu”. ~ No matter how fierce the storm is, it cannot pour/throw out the liquid content of the coconut.

Those who bring happiness to others are laying their own foundation for future happiness. May God send all of you comfort and help in your times of need.

Categories: Relationships, Social | 3 Comments

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3 thoughts on “Breaking the Silence of the Past 18 Months

  1. Showole Olumide



  2. I don’t “pray” or wish for a NEXT Time ~ but … Noted, with thanks!


  3. In the future, pls never argue with a gun, toy or real, loaded or empty.” Many have gone”, ala Izu Chukwu Transp Ltd, in such manner.


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