Musings of a PA

Prior to now (now that I am in the know) I used to wonder why my ‘uncles’ and ‘aunties’ hardly, if ever, responded to my mails or treated them as urgent! NOW I KNOW *** ssshhhhhh *** … they probably NEVER got to read them 🙂

In my ‘job-hunting’ days, I sent circa a million CV’s per day to everybody in high position whom I thought was ‘connected’ enough to be relevant. Alas, no job, no calls for interviews, no feedback! I used to think they were lying each time I spoke with them over the phone or face-to-face only to learn they were yet to ‘see’ my email (habba, uncle! elders don’t tell lies now… or do they?)

NB: Here’s a great piss-off advice for you: Never Mail a Man in High Position Asking for HELP or Money or Other – He Wouldn’t Spare the Time To Read Trivia (except it’s about a project that would add to him financially). Don’t make the stew-pea’d assumption that he has your interests at heart 🙂 Na the PA go read the mails… (Feel free to send me a cheque later for free consultation)

Everyone is out to serve ‘self’ first! And no man gives money (or time) to the man who has no money … (ask SME owners who are refused facilities at the bank and compare their stories with the well-known story of Dangote )

Tip: Be nice to the security men, the drivers, the house-helps, the chef, the body guard, the P.A … Yes oohhhh, the P.A!!! The P.A is the Boss’s Manager! ***ssshhhhhh*** na the P.A. be da real ‘oga’ (well, without the FULL benefits but … A word is enough for the “whys” … ciao!

The Hazards…

Sigh … @#$%^&* wrt my RESIGNATION as PA; please don’t judge Mee till you get the de-tale

I had to resign as P.A to my boss (who else would I have been P.A to but MY boss?!?) about a month ago; as lucrative as it was***sobbing out loud***

OK, here’s why…

My boss returned from a trip and told Mee he was tired…’expectedly’. I said ok Sir, and he goes on to ask Mee if I could get olive oil…no qualms…I dashed off… (“what’s a P.A for if not to see to errand affairs?”) The Ministers P.A is the Minister of Errand affairs … which I happened to be!

Upon my return, he said his thanks and I began to pack my sack; sorry, my bag… ready to go home… home sweet home 🙂 (PS: home is where the heart is) As I was approaching him to bid him farewell, he told Mee he needed a massage…sure thing Sire, lemme get your masseuse on the phone…

err… He stops Mee and says, “can you define the word ‘Personal Assistant’?!?” Shocked to my marrow, I stammered as the definition dawned on Mee…hmmn…talk about job hazards!!! You really don’t want to know what followed…till I’m stable again, Takea!!!
The Perks
I don’t know about my colleagues, but for Mee, the life of a P.A is probably what is aka ‘DA LIFE’! Well, depending on whom you’re P.A to … but being a P.A is possibly the most socially rewarding ‘career’ any (restless) one can build… HONEST! When we meet, it’s easy to identify who’s who … did I say when we meet? I mean where we meet … OMG, what was I thinking all this while? Building a Career?!?

Psscchheeewwwwww let sleeping dogs continue to lie*** when all the while, even my Branch Managers at the Bank were complaining. Was I really planning to end up like them? IF not for ‘Jazz intervention’, I would have been a level-what bank officer and nothing by now. Truthfully, the mass retrenchment was a blessing in disguise mehn, BABA I thank you oh …even though, it came as a BIG shock, then relief, then VERY rude shock at the time! Fired? Asked to resign?!? After ALL I’ve done for you?!?! “Crazy Bank Ass”

Now, I’m LIVING da LIFE … with ALL the complexities thereof! The Exposure to power is worth ALL the hazards abeeg (ooopppsss mybad, did I really just say that?!?) I need to prioritize before I make my FINAL submission … But in my current state of mind I daresay being a P.A is an indirect way to “Live Da LIfe”
The Life and Times of a P.A

zilch!

no life!

no personal time!

job hazards? yep yep yep

a personal assistant is just that; as the name implies, a-personal-assistant! PERIOD

hence, s/he’s always at the beck and call of oga … dear, very dear (expensive) oga!

I would speak about the hazards later, but as I am… a P.A’s life is a miniature of his/her oga’s life. No more, no less

The Irony
In spite of the myriad of he-motions I have experienced in the last two years as a PA, I would do it all over and over again and again if I had a chance to; which probably explains why I am #nowseeking a Manager to ‘manage’. The only difference this time around is that I would be the one choosing who to work with unlike other times where I stumbled upon the role. Now I take charge and I call the shots.
Kindly spread the word, I am Now Recruiting a Manager …

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