Disclaimer: any similarities to any one dead or alive is intended. Since this is a true life account, it follows that the actors/players mentioned below are also real … Names have however been changed to protect ‘privacy’; NO Ridicule or Harm is intended! – Best regards!
The long term commitment many of us seek in marriage cannot be achieved by the short term relationships we run today.
For some, marriage is a covenant established simply due to a surge of testosterone.
On more than one occasion, I have had to tell a gurl that her man is safe with Mee. If I had wanted him in the first place, he’d (probably) not have gone after her. One of the men in my life walked up to Mee about 3 years ago and said, “I can’t wait again” and in fairness to him, I said no problem darling, go! Today he is married and seemingly unhappy too ‘cos he’s still asking for my hand; which to Mee is a great insult…a really great insult. If you think about it that’d only make Mee either a mistress or a second fiddle.
I remember another incidence; Mr. X decided I was the one for him, even though I made it clear I did not want him. After a lot of investments that were clearly not going to yield dividends, he said to me, “you’d never find anyone like me again” err… ‘If I don’t want you, why should I seek or find anyone like you AGAIN?’ however, I thanked him for the prayer/prophecy because it was a big relief! I had been asking God to take that ‘cup’ from me and presto! Halleluiah!
Due to my small frame and stature, I come across guys of the 80’s who think they’re man enough for Mee. I always politely tell them I have no intentions to cradle-snatch. I am well aware that age is in the mind but I’m no sugar mummy. Respect doesn’t come easy for Mee and I intend to submit fully to my own ‘husband’ as unto the Lord. So in fairness to guys that come that I clearly won’t (will not, not cannot) respect, I employ my base ball bat! Pammmnn!
Natasha Roberts, Sandy Rowland, Trisha Williams … lovely names! So when Rotimi Jacobs came I was glad. Not for Mee per se as I was not attracted to him in any way. It was solely for my children’s sake (their surname). When I thought well about it, I decided against it cos it was putting the cart before the wheel. I know married couples who don’t have kids YET and some of them actually (medically) cannot have kids. And since I was not attracted to him physically, I buried the notion. Case dismissed!
Then came Reuben, the life of the party and I could be sure to have a good time in the company of his friends. But when we were together alone just the two of us, it was a battle! LOL There is no point in a bird marrying a fish, where would they build their nest; in the tree or in the river? There are a lot of things I would rather not do, and not just for my children’s sake now (that’s post priori) but for Mee. A great time for Mee is a great conversation – interview, not intercourse! I miss his friends…
I have ‘fallen in love’ so many times with so many different people I’m not even sure what love is anymore. But I’m sure when I see it, I will know it. That’s what I always think …till I fall and recover again from the fall!
However, like my mentor advised, “I won’t let someone become a priority in my life when I’m just an option in theirs. Relationships work best when they are balanced.” Trust Mee, ‘balance’ in this context is difficult to define…at least for Mee! People always take Mee to task for what I perceive as balance or imbalance based on the attributes of guys that have dared to love Mee.
In self defense (there’s almost no one else defending Mee these days anyway), I had very good reason not to be bothered about the claims of some of them. Take for instance:
Kola Wazirie the senator – like most noveau riche folk, he had the clout and the money, but lacked finesse. This guy spoilt Mee silly and stupid! The interesting thing is that money does not respond to ….ok ok, that discuss will be for another day. I totally agree that it is more convenient to cry in a limo than on a bike (okada) but as much as it brings comfort, there are some things money cannot buy. Anyways, Kola was at my beck and call – money, car, driver, and time – all the works! But I was reluctant to show him off to my friends. I subtly asked him to go to finishing school but he thought it was a sheer waste of his time. I eventually realized that hanging with him had a similar effect on Mee. I love food and comfort, but I also enjoy ‘good’ company! Besides time IS money, so err…I had to weigh my options and reprioritize! Next….
Dare Kelly the dude – he had it, good looks, great friends, money, a touché and taite background (albeit chrislam) and a very sweet mouth. But that was where it ended. A noisy gong and a clashing cymbal, he was all talk and almost nothing else. He obviously (clearly) did not have clear (obvious) plans at the time … LOL he did not know where he was going and he was willing to take Mee along! But I endured his nonsense syllables till I found my next catch. In retrospect, I wonder why I was attracted to him…maybe it was the power bikes, maybe it was the background, maybe… I guess it was his sweet mouth. A word spoken fitly is like apples of gold in settings of silver. But something hooked Mee to him till another came and ‘cleared my doubts’. Thank God for friends who are bold and nice enough to say the truth to us; directly.
I didn’t actually find my next catch, he found Mee. And for my sake, I am glad he did! When God brought Eve to Adam, she kept quiet and waited. All Eve did (had to do) was to follow God and make herself available for the ‘presentation’. There is no record that she spoke. Adam however, saw her and spoke. It was up to Adam after naming and seeing all the other animals to ‘find’ her, the helper suitable and complementary to him. Considering the trend I wonder, what if out of desperation Adam had named the Chimpanzee or Monkey a helper, seeing there was seemingly no other suitable choice … ?
Adam wasn’t so bad after all, he made God think and re-create … a wo-man! But then again, HE is ALL knowing … this GOD sha!!!
Time will fail Mee to tell you about Chikezie, Mohammed, Tosan and Baron whom I had to reject due to my parents non-consent. Parents here, refers to Father (all 3 of them) and Mother (all 3 of them). In fairness, I personally single handedly turned my back on Igwe, Ghandi and Ogun due to spiritual di-vision; and last but not the least; Sean, Cicero and the rest who upon new discovery, just like water, found their levels. Acquaintance always gives insight to character no matter what appearances reflect.
God is faithful sha, I have NEVER lacked a man to sit on the ‘throne’ of my life… and even though I have loved and lost, it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all!
To ALL the men who have helped to make me Mee: God Bless and err… Thanks 🙂