Divorced parents decry own selfishness

Divorced parents decry own selfishness.

Identifying abusive leadership

Identifying abusive leadership.

Winning The Rat Race – Coping Strategies #Basic DLA

On more than one occasion, I have been told by friends from my past that they don’t hear my voice in my write-things. Errrrrrrmmm (I think) I can explain *mischievous grin*. Three things happened over time:

1. LIFE
2. I started drinking i.e. getting filled (not only with The Spirit but also with wine and other spirits)
3. Daystar Leadership Academy (Basic Leadership School)

The focus of this discourse is the last point: Daystar Leadership Academy

In a bid to get out of the woods (my hunting days) I did a lot of ‘german-german’! By this I mean I was like a drowning man, clutching tightly to every straw. *¹Getting a job is a job! As a matter of fact, by the time I finally got a job, I realized that doing the work itself IS MORE WORK than getting it! *²In no time, I realized that it’s more difficult maintaining/sustaining success than attaining it. Thankfully though, I had (have) something (knowledge) to break my fall from the impending RAT RACE.

The sessions I had at Daystar Leadership Academy helped Mee a great deal…at least the bit I put into practice. It is one thing to be taught, it’s quite another to imbibe and apply the lessons. If we choose to, we (can) (should) learn something every day. If we fail to, LIFE will be full of nothing but hard knocks, and that (a hard knock) is often better heard than felt (experienced).

I cannot speak about the New Generation Tertiary Institutions, but I cannot remember many things I was (overtly) taught back in School that are applicable to the ‘real world’ for which we were supposedly being prepared. Considering the fact that I was in The Social Sciences, I wonder how people who studied some other courses like “Zoo” are coping in the real world! We can see how well the Project Manager of the Nigerian Project, who has a PhD in Zoo is faring! God help and guide us all. “Ori lo mo ise asela”

But then again, like Father said to Mee when I opted to drop out of School (before the approval to leave Medical School for The Social Sciences) University Education is to train the mind. The discipline of attending classes, writing exams, confining you to a curriculum and working with others plus participation in departmental politics and students’ unionism is a great avenue for ‘real world’ preparation. Looking at it that way, school was/is/was/is/was not a waste of time…

However, with respect to time management and finances, err … I had it coming. Attending lectures for instance was not (usually) mandatory and no one monitored how I spent MY money. After all, I was a student privileged to spend Father’s ‘hard earned’ money. (Nail biting: I can see clearly now) Back then, I had more money than sense though, chei. *Sadly, the man no even ’gree send Mee money again* (But like most we-men, I’ve got a backup plan – the receipts are piling)

Anyways, school was fun even though I did not really realize it back then. I had fun, but it could have been better. I was eager like so many other people to get to the other side that I failed to live and enjoy the moment. (The seaweed is always greener in somebody else’s lake … Ariel’s advice to the Little Mermaid). OH Yes, I love Walt Disney Films, they are DEEP!

(Sigh) this is about Daystar Leadership Academy

Experience, they say, is the best teacher and I totally agree. However, it does not have to be yours. As a result, I always (always?) strive to avail myself of learning from others. As a matter of fact, back in school, I so availed myself of others that I almost did not have to read. By simply attending discussions or having someone break down a course material, I was fine! This doesn’t work for everybody though, some people just gat to read … (head shaking) mo s’ope temi!

OMG this IS about Daystar!!! iSigh

DLA Basic Leadership Course

• Lecture venue: Plot A3c Ikosi Road, beside GTBank Oregun Ikeja Lagos
• Lecture Period: Monday 5 – Friday 23 March 2012
• 8:00 am – 1:30 pm
• Download forms online at www.dlaonline.org
• Pick hard copies at 71 Kudirat Abiola Way, Oregun
• Tuition fee: NGN 7000

In my days, tuition was 5K and that money hard me ehn, LOL. But in retrospect, it was worth it. That 5k has earned and saved Mee over 5k. Time spent was not wasted but invested. Not that I had any other thing keeping Mee particularly busy at the time though (movies yeah). But the discipline of waking up early and attending ‘school’ again was err … a great discipline! That’s work init? All the best in your hunt!!! (for all those bent on hunting)  Getting a job IS a job!

*¹Yeah, I think y’all should grab a copy of that book as well.

Why Should I Get Married ?!?

Why Should I Get Married ?!?.

A Budding Relationship

A more appropriate title if I’d gone ahead to share the entire drama, would be “Burden Relationships” or “Class will Never go out of Style” or as my colleague suggested, “MS Office Romance” LOL. But I’ve decided to sh-air just this bit… So the heading “A Budding Relationship” should suffice!*wink*

He’s not one of these money-miss-road or simply-lucky-to-have-a-job or just-lucky-to-earn-income-due-to-a-salary “type” of guys. He’s self-made. By this I mean, with or without his salary, he’d still retain his essence. How many people are like that anyways? How many people bother to educate themselves outside formal education?

Several people claim they don’t have time to develop their character or work hard on their core selves simply because they are saddled with work and job demands, KMT. Get a life dude, there’s a lot more to life than racing through it and feeling fly SMH! Besides, “the thing wey these boys wey no too get money dey take their coins do ehn, you go fear!!!” —-> here I go, running my mouth AGAIN.

Seriously though, there is more to life than the things we chase – it’s what’s inside that truly matters!

Anyways, my admiration and respect soared when during a training, after Malik and I had previously discussed traffic and driving in Lagos, the facilitator broached the subject with reference to France. Not only did Malik have meaningful contribution – ’cos he’s been there before – but he also said it with a chuckle.

Without batting an eyelid (I must have batted my eyelids) but my point is, instantly, my admiration grew. I have always loved Paris. There was no air about him, no cockiness, and I was really impressed because he wasn’t cheeky about my naiveté.

I hate asking questions; a lot of people are of the opinion that I simply don’t care enough to ask questions (ouch)… But as difficult as it is for me, I heard myself asking him if his trip to France was business or pleasure. “Pleasure”, he replied.

I couldn’t stop the blood from rushing to my face. That’s the last time we saw and/or spoke.

The Importance of Strategy and Goal Setting (*reprinted with Permission)

Call ‘am woman, African woman no go gree oh, she go say ay-ay, she go say I be lady oh ~ in Fela’s voice.

 So yesterday I watched two “ladies” in a street fight {please don’t ask what I was doing around them}. Considering the way the argument degenerated, and the demeanor of both parties, I was tempted to blame it on PMS; but after a while, I had to conclude that the trigger was more than a surge of hormones. I couldn’t help but notice however, that one of them removed her wrist watch and chain long before the fight ensued. Her calculated decision reminded me about one of my customers – Miranda

One bright Monday morning, a customer walked up to me and informed me that she wanted to convert her account to a special account or get a different package entirely. She was running a demand deposit checking account but she wanted a pure savings account and requested we block her debit options. (That way even if she was in dire need and needed to make a withdrawal she would not be able to do so). For someone currently in the university, her request was unusual, or so it seemed, to me. I commended her wisdom and made inquiries as to why she wanted such a strict package.

When I was an undergraduate, money flowed freely into and through my hands and ‘saving’ was not something I understood. I had a ‘savings account’, three saving accounts as a matter of fact, but money never stayed in any of those accounts as long as I had a need – and by need here, I actually mean a WANT!!! {These accounts were nothing but ‘Transient Accounts’ … demand deposit, and more demand than deposit.} As a matter of fact, I was so extravagant that I hardly deposited money except for momentary safe keeping!

Miranda opened up to me when we got into my office (a mere cubicle actually) and what she told me lingered on in my mind long after the words had tumbled out of her lips. From her story, I gathered that she was planning to change schools and the about-to-be-opened-or-converted-account was to provide financial back up for her intended lifestyle. With no plans to study, she had decided to save up money to ‘settle’ her would-be-lecturers to ensure her academic progress over the 4-year period of study.

It was mind blowing!!!

Using my “church-mind”, I was tempted to stop her but I could only see the ‘wisdom’ behind her actions. She knew what she wanted and she devised a strategy to actualize it. When it comes to issues concerning the future on the contrary, “churchians”, leave it all to God (because He is able and more than able to do…) What can I say, “the children of this world are wiser in their generation than the sons of the kingdom!”

For BEST results (measurable results) we need to have goals, make plans and follow through those plans! I learnt the IMPORTANCE of goal setting and strategizing aka PLANNING shortly after I joined the Tsun-Army, but my first realm encounter was from a 19-year old, Miranda!

We usually make resolutions at the beginning of every year, even though by Val’s day, more than half of those plans are moot! We are one month away from a New Year ~ (Half a word should be enough for the wise reader)

 

 

 

The Declaration of Independence – 1

The declaration of Independence is not freedom from colonial powers any more than an award of a degree or certificate is a proof of an end to education or a freedom from ‘learning’. Men strive to be free forgetting and/or ignoring the fact that “with freedom comes responsibility”. Very often, unfortunately, we focus so much on gaining freedom without evaluating the level of adjoining responsibilities.

When we were in school, education happened to us. The courses we took were decided and chosen for us by the faculty. We exerted our power to choose only with respect to the ‘electives’. There was a particular standard that we were made to adhere to via rules and regulations. Students that neglected these set of laws failed to make the desired grade to pass that class, and in some cases were asked to repeat the year.

After school however, for the few who may not have tasted or realized it yet, you are welcomed to the ‘real world’. This realization however occurs at different stAGEs for different people. Even though time and chance happens to all men, only the prepared recognize opportunity when it knocks. Hence, neither age nor stage is a good determinant of your entry into the ‘Real World’.

For those of us that have served our time as formal students, and subsequently earned our freedom/independence from faculties and school authorities; we have had to individually choose to study, choose our career paths or vocations, and to educate ourselves and/or improve upon ourselves and skill sets at our discretion.

Independence is a decision to be self-reliant. By definition, it refers to autonomy, sovereignty, liberty, self-determination and the freedom from reliance on others socially, mentally, physically, economically, emotionally (i.e. for food, health, education, agriculture, etc). With this definition, it is clearly not a mere moniker or nomenclature but a state of mind. Real freedom is internal.

You can seemingly have an outward master and yet be the ‘brain’ or productive center that your master relies upon to propel his business forward. This probably explains why upwardly mobile organizations poach talents from competition in order to boost their productivity. By observing and asking people questions, you learn a lot without being too obvious.

On the other hand, in very extraordinary cases, you may be “independent” ~ free of outward controls and yet lack clear vision or direction for your future, be deficient in self governance and goals worthy of pursuit and thus be totally unproductive with respect to the things that truly matter (i.e. issues geared towards growth and development).

The Independence Day Celebration of 2010, with its very alarming budget, was an eye-opener. It shows that we need as individuals and as a Nation, to reflect on the true meaning conveyed by the word “independence” and work (or walk as the case may be), towards making our independence a reality. “Integrity starts with “I” so “we must be the change we wish to see in our nation”; so help us God.